sublime stitching
my mawmaw made all her kids and grandkids pillowcases for most of the valentine's days i remember from being alive with her.
i'm not making pillowcases this year, but i'm going with her theme, again.... zhi had the idea for us to embroider on pillow cases. we got some new flannel sheets, and we're stitching on the cases now. i'm doing 99% of the embroidering. but zhi picked up the stem stitch with one showing basically, and has done a little bit on her bird. she might do a few of her letters tonight, and then i'll finish them on up. i've had that sublime stitching book for 7 years maybe? this is the first time i've used it. yay! i'm such a novice embroiderer i'm looking up which stitch to do for lettering and outlining and just chose stem. is there another one that's better for letters? i could probably get a better needle too! mine seems really thick for this, but it's the only one that could fit that thread in the eye. anyhow. it's fun!
i just flipped through some of my old blog posts. oh my. it hurts. sometimes it hurts so bad! to miss my babies being babies. and yet, just yesterday, i think it was yesterday, i felt this huge wave of freedom at noticing how we can do things now together, in this vastly different way, now that they are so much more independent. they can all do their own seat belt buckles. zip their coats. stuff like that that takes a small but noticeable load off of me. and i reveled in that yesterday. it felt great! and now i am paining at the loss of all that is behind us. shit! pain. oh joyful beautiful pain. oh how exquisite you are.
ok. here's a report on the bedwetting alarm that we began using last summer to train zhi, and then max on night time pee~ing in the bed. report: success! we had to bribe those kids with a large amount of money, the amount of which i will not say on here, because some of you might judge me. but i calculated it out and it made sense, actually, based on how much money we were spending on night time pullups. like 70 bucks a month. this mama is not gonna put her 7 and 9 year olds in cloth at night. ha! the 4 year old trained herself for night time. that was a bonus! so the monetary prize was a big key for us, they needed a motivator. cuz getting up in the middle of the night from the deepest sleep possible, to the sound and feel of a buzzing vibrating annoying machine hooked to your underwear is not something anybody wants to do. and i had no way of talking them into doing it for the pride of knowing you climbed a hard high mountain and of the joy they would feel once they accomplished the feat. they wouldn't hear it. they liked their pullups. and now they like their money. zhi got trained in 1 month. the first week was hard. i got up with her a lot. then she did it on her own. max. DIFFERENT story. of course. it took him 6 months. him and me. getting up every time that god damn alarm went off. me and him. in the bathroom. he isn't as nimble with his hands, and attaching the little clip to the underwear while he was still in that sleepy state, wasn't happening so well. WELL. deep exhale. he has mastered this. he really has. it's been about 2 months now with no alarm. i feel ok saying he got it. he may have a relapse, but i have padding on the bed for that possibility. holy moly. what an accomplishment. i love the bedwetting alarm. i don't like the thought of how we would have done that otherwise. thank you bedwetting alarm. thank you monetary bribes.
remembering our accomplishments is very good therapy for me. cuz there's always more to work on. i think max needs to go back to physical therapy again. his walking isn't looking so good anymore. i guess i should say, it looks like it could be helped. for some with more sever cerebral palsy, his walking looks amazing. i don't know how to say what i'm trying to say very well. always worried about offending others. uncensor myself. his walking, for him, seems like it's getting stiffer, his heel is coming up again, as he is growing. we knew this would happen. he might need one more surgery i'm thinking, maybe this year. maybe this summer? a heel surgery this time. i'll just dip my toe in that for now. maybe make an appointment to meet with the surgeon in denver. that's a good first step. small baby steps here. deep breaths. this surgery will be minor compared to the one from two years ago. ( i want to update that soon. note to self. can you make that happen h? maybe after the appointment with the denver surgeon.) ok.. toe dipped. goals for this week or next made. deep breaths taken.
now. what else can i celebrate?
zhi. that girl lost a tooth last night. she wanted me to pull it out. not her dad. ha! i celebrate that. i swear those kids so often choose their dad over me when it comes to so many things. i think cuz he's gone to work so much, and he's just more novel, and he's fresh to them, and freaking funny, and i'm just this old haggard hag. ha. i yanked that tooth out, though! we were awesome. and we had a fun girl day yesterday. males went to snowboarding therapy. we all put on eye make up. i put it on for us all. eyeliner. eyeshadow. mascara. blue mascara. they were so cute and serious about it.
we made homemade bath bomb things, inspired by a blogging friend. i bathed with one last night. it was cool! i like the oily factor a lot. mmmmmm. oil bath. feels good in this colorado air. we started embroidering. we cleaned those girls' desks. we rocked. we had good vibes. that is to celebrate.
ah well. here we go. another week begun. sending a prayer to my friend whose back keeps going out. deep prayer for you good friend. i'm giving you one of these bath bombs. k? made with love.
What a wonderful tradition it is! We only just started celebrating Valentine's Day.
ReplyDeleteYay on the lost tooth, my girl changed so much after she lost her first tooth, and a little bit after the second, too. It's funny how the emotional growing-up can sometimes be noticed like that, with teeth falling out or hair colour changing.
I don't think anyone would judge you for "bribing" , whatever works for you, right? It's not hurting anyone. Love that alarm thing, will have to bookmark that and remember it in a few years. We have never made bath bombs, but I think we might just try.
Much love to you and yours!
Miri
thanks for the reminder to look for some sweet maybe subtle changes in my girl after losing this tooth. i think it's her 6th lost one? losing count. but still, i feel there could be a shift after each one lost. how could there not? well, it was quite a lot. for a kid especially. but i needed it to sound big and dramatic to get their attention. they really liked their pull ups.
DeleteWOMAN! MY SON! going through major bedwetting dramas. So glad you posted this...i'm going forward with an alarm for him. it's the only way i think. he's 7.5. Has dry nights but has relapsed? And bribing worked? then mebbe i should try it. i loved your comment on my blog about my nana, and my dress jealousy, and the advice to try re-conjouring her spirit....sorry i didn't quite get time to reply personally over there. i feel like it's insensitive for me to talk about grieving her, with everything that's been going on for you lately, and your family's grief. So i won't do it here. my kids choose their dad all the time too, i think it is because he only sees them in the evening too...but also because he really is pretty great with them. I am the grumpy, bossy, parenty one. hah! i miss my babies also, sigh. Hey! As to your mad embroidery skills, a novice? they're beautiful bits so far. My embroidery skills are beginner at best, and no way near as good as that birdy and heart. Who plays piano? x
ReplyDeletemmm, i bet he's ready for the alarm.....good luck!!
Deleteyeah, i love grandmas. love them. love hearing people talk about theirs. don't you worry about talking about your grief. ours is big, but not so big that we don't like relating to others'. i feel like it helps actually. to relate to others. not just to be the center of attention. and yeah, i know kids do that with their dads a lot. it's good to hear it though. i'm not only haggard hard ass mom. david. david is a piano player. it's lovely.
This is an interesting post for me. I was a late bedwetter and had the alarm... twice:-/ I relapsed after the first time. Just learned to tune that buzzer right out. The second time worked. I wasn't bribed as far as I remember. I really wanted to climb that mountain! It's rough. I'm sure it was rough on my mama too. Good for you getting through it and good for Zhi and Max too!!
ReplyDeleteYou're embroidery is great - I love those sweet birds and hearts!
hey. i was a late bedwetter too! but no alarm for me. plastic panties and a mom who woke me up a lot. i'd rather have had the alarm, i think? i can't imagine being able to tune that buzz out! that's hilarious!
DeleteI know! I don't know how I did it! My younger sister would wake up and shove me sometimes - I am a VERY heavy sleeper - still. One of my girls is just like me - I predict more buzzing alarms in my future!!
DeleteI was a late bedwetter. It was pretty embarrassed sometimes. I remember sleeping over at my friend's house in her mom's bed and dreaming this weird dream about needing to go to the bathroom really bad and then being woken up by a warm sensation. I wanted to leave in the middle of the night and run home. I bedwet until I was about 20 years old. Usually when I was sleeping really soundly. It's good you've been able to really train him to get out of that deep sleep to prevent it. I always tell you my stories don't I? Well, I just want you to know I understand from personal experience. :)
ReplyDeleteThose bath bombs look like fun. Do they fizzle in the bath water? I bet they do.
Hope you're having a good one Heather!
love, kyndale
kyndale...i remember having that same exact dream, when i was still a bedwetter. how funny. dreaming of peeing and then peeing in the bed. i'm sorry you wanted to run home. it's so sad how hard it is to grow out of it. keep telling me your stories please. that's what i loved about being in a women's group. we could just tell our stories to each other. not so much about giving advice, but just telling our stories. sweet. you tell me yours. i'll tell you mine. yes. bath bombs fizz. it's silly. they don't fizz for long. hope you're well too dear.
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