go away.

when i'm grumpy, that's what i say.  or what i want to say.  being a good role model sucks sometimes.

i have been so grumpy.  on and off.  hard times.

i'm drinking chamomile tea.  in the middle of the day.  i can't really do any caffeine anymore.  not even freaking yerba mate.  it all gives me the shakes.  the interesting thing is, i feel alert after this chamomile.  i feel irritated by the energy in the tea house today.  oh.  it's halloween energy.  i just want to be in retreat energy.  not this energy.  guess i need to get with it.  deep breath. ok.  not gonna resist all this weirdness.  weird weird weird weirdness.  i know the veils are thinner, and i swear i can feel my dad tickling me, making me lighten up and smile.  ok.  i get it.  thanks.  that does feel better.  freaking chamomile.  it's good.  but it's not earl grey.  i am changing.  getting more and more sensitive.  alcohol too.  i can hardly take it.  well.  what can i do?  but listen to the old bod.  well, some kinds of alcohol.  vodka and me can still be friends.  phew.


i got around to sewing up some qyoot pants today.  for miss zhi.  i've cleared out the summer clothes from their drawers and there's a little room for some more.  she actually likes them.  so much that she wouldn't let me hem them.  she wouldn't take them off.  that's a bullseye!  how lucky i feel.  while i was working on them, she was hanging out typing on the type writer.  one of the notes she wrote me said, 'look how lily looks so qyoot.'  one of the cats, was sitting in the golden chair.....lounging.  i used a pattern, a burda pajama pattern for these.  i didn't have enough of the red velvet, so the racing stripe entered.  that happens a lot to me.  i'm destined to make pants with the side stripe.  the velvet and the corduroy stripe were both thrifted.  the pockets are some fabric, echino, that my mom gave me a while ago...been using that lately here and there.  i elasticized the top of the pockets, and i'm glad i did.
they look qyoot.  so.  that was cool.  i'm not gonna make the nov. 1st deadline with the sweaters.  i keep choosing to do other stuff.  my choice.  i'm giving myself an extension.  to nov. 15th.  ha.

so.  i got a package from a rad girl in ireland.
  i can't even believe how lucky i got with my swap partner.  i'm in love.  first off, the music she sent me was like a miracle on a hard sad night as david and i processed some news we got about his dad's health. this music she sent, made by a friend of hers, was just so sweet and helpful to our wrecked hearts and minds.  it's like it helped us to take some breaths or something.  to relax our frames.  oy.  what a journey.  i don't know what to say.  but thanks.  thanks so much sadhbh, my new gaelic friend.  


but there was so much more......

like that sun catcher.  it's now hanging in a living room window.  zhi knew right where it wanted to go.

some delicious red currant jelly made by her parents from their land.  we had a fun time having on toast for a snack the other night.  such fun.
some tea, and those sweet strawberries.  i'm gonna drink that tea, and get shaky, and just go with the energy and dance.  that may be all that's happening.  i'm just at a crossroads with learning how to work with lots of energy.  in a new, more evolved, body based way.  i just can't be so mental anymore.


this card, that she made, makes me happy.   it means, good luck.  she sent 5 cards from her own card business to me.  i love them all so much.  and i love that they are in gaelic.


and it makes me nervous.....i sent her a horse shoe.  that's neat huh?  we really were so in synch with this process.  mary, you were tapped in when you paired us up!  but,  i'm nervous that she's not gonna get my package.  oh.  please get to her!!  i may have sent some things i wasn't supposed to.  oooooopsie.  we'll see.......if so, i will wax on and wax off again,  and feel lucky that i get to send her another round of love.  cuz that's what this is.

and she was just all around so thoughtful.

i love her.  and i love that i got to taste ireland.  and i will continue to for a while!



thanks so much new friend.





i spotted this tin at a thrift store yesterday.  it wasn't for sale!  how weird.  it said nfs on it.  it's too cool for school i guess.   it's funny, how i have such a relationship with that word, macaroni, now, because of this blog, and because of that girl below.  she kind-of named it.  i chose the word light.  she told me when she was 2 years old, it also wanted to be called macaroni, when i asked her to help me name it.  it was her favorite word.  i saw that tin, and i swear it made my heart flutter.  that word.

i've been playing along with another good blogging friend, courtney, this month, playing a umm, photo challenge thing.  is that what it's called?  a daily posting on flickr.  i chose this one below for today's theme of home.  home.  sometimes it's so divinely cozy.  i have lots of other photos on my flickr page too, but the ones that are labeled with a one word title are the ones for this little challenge.  i want to do another one.  it's been a way to sit and breathe for a moment or two every day, or every other day if have to do a make up cuz i skipped a day, and just have a simple quick artistic moment with some photos and one word.


but maybe this one below is better...



or this one?


i'm putting up three pictures of home today.  breakin the rules.