please

thinking thinking thinking. squinting into the screen. scanning the airwaves for interesting conversations to spark my creative mind. i have some time!! time!! and there's nothing rumbling around my head, nothing in the forefront, i mean. there are plenty of nonsensical stressy things taking up way too much space of course, not sparking my spirit at all. just sparking my instinct to stall out. stall. stall. stall. false start. stall. i feel like people (my inner critics, so many of them!) are honking at me to go the fuck on. the light is green! i just keep stalling. i think i need a new clutch. that's no fun. maybe i need a new handbag?? i'm going to turn away from that gift my stressed out heather wants to give me, the multiple stalls and honks (why do we honk at ourselves like that?) and look for a gift that my spirited freeeeeeeeeeeee heather is holding out, being drowned out by the obnoxious horn noise of the stressy heathers. there are so many of me. at least it sounds like there are. maybe my critics are just exceptionally loud. tending to spirited heather is something i would be so smart to do more of.

duh.

sorry to be a broken record.

someday i'll get a new record.

you know who has the coolest record collection in the world? my sister. who is fast becoming a new yorker. i can hear it in her voice. no, she is not picking up a fake accent in 2 weeks. ha. i met a girl (from the usa) once who did that after going to new zealand for 2 months. she came back with the thickest new zealand accent. and she still has it. a decade later. i am totally making fun. but come on. if she was my friend, i'd call her on it, and make fun to her face. that is a funny thing to do. but no, my sister is not talking like a yankee, she's just getting herself all situated and doing things and calling me and telling me and it is so fun to hear about it all. makes me smile as i write this. i just wish she'd send me more pictures from her phone. hint hint. i want a picture of every professor. every new subway stop. every new juniper outfit. every new mama~goes~to~law~school~outfit, and all the new corners of her home as all the cute things find themselves out of all those boxes, some that i helped pack. you know what you might want to use that food processor for, the one you've never used yet, to make smoothies in! i used ours today to make a smoothie that i added a whole bunch of chard to, and the chard doesn't blend up in the blender very well, so i had to process it first in the processor. then we blended. and the kids got a big dose of fresh raw greens, and we felt a bit like super~humans after eating all that green goodness.




so, if i were to get a new record, toss the broken one, and play nice new sounds, instead of repeated honking, i would play a record that sounds like this today. we saw him last night. (he sounded so much better than that clip portrays. his magic was loud and clear in person, last night. the rainbow must have helped.) at a music festival with the kids. dancing to that song with olive in my arms was so fun. max was really into his beat boxing drum mouth sounds. zhi was into staring at him in the binoculars, and repeatedly asking me if 'we had this dude's disc?' the kids were all so into mr. sexton. he is magic. heart melting magic. with so much energy. as i watched him, i kept feeling like he is just a deep deep deep DEEP well. a well of high soulful creative energy and musical bliss. and sexiness. woohoo. we went in our raincoats. and still got soaked.


kids in raincoats are so good for photographs.

look at my new mom charms. charm me. please.