fun...it does happen

this girl that i love a LOT gave me a blogger award.

woohoo! who doesn't like an award? maybe some really really busy bloggers, who can't keep up with all their awards. but hey, that is not me. thank you mary.

Award Guidelines

• Thank the person who awarded you and link to his/her blog
• Tell 7 random facts about yourself
• Pass the award to 15 new found bloggers
• Contact each blogger you want to pass the award on to, and let them know you’ve done so, and let the giver of your award know you accept it… or not.

i will be sharing 7 crazy and random and shocking facts about myself here momentarily.

okay. got some tea in hand......the fire stoked. the kids happy on this snow day off from school. the yorgit brewing up its yummy cultures. i kicked the depression out of town on this fine day, although it was a serious battle this morning. i really can't believe how hard it is some days. past life stuff i predict. but once i kick it, man, i am so high! don't say it. maybe i am bipolar. whatever. i'm dealing fine, i'm just really honest about it.

okay.

1. ummmmmm. hmmmmm. uh-oh. nothing coming to mind. gonna walk away and come back in a sec.......ok. this is harder than i was expecting. weird. i normally like to write about myself. but i guess it's process oriented usually. okay. just gonna go with some stuff that comes first. i'm scared....i grew up in arkansas. until i was 12 and moved to boulder. so guess what kind of accent i had. a nice thick southern one. my mom and stepdad told me it made me sound dumb, to put it simply. they kind-of harshed on me to work on learning how to talk without it. i did. i learned quickly. now, if i drink too much alcohol, you can hear the subtle left-overs of it, i'm told. ha. i miss it. when i hear my family in arkansas talk, it always sounds so soothing to me.
2. those same parents, the mom and stepdad, once i grew into my 16 year-old self, would not get me a car. we lived about 4 miles from school and the town where friends and everything in the world was that i cared about in terms of socializing. so. i did what survivors do, and figured out how to get what i needed. it wasn't hard, though, since i was on the track and cross-country teams, i just fucking ran to my friends' houses. funny thing is, now that i remember doing that, it is a pleasant memory. i got my training in, which needed to happen. i'm not bitter about not having gotten a car in high school. but i am nervous about what the hell we will do for our kids when they become 16. holy moly, what a thought. we probably won't be able to afford them at that point,when we are gonna be busy saving for their colleges, i hope. so there. decision made.
3. i just looked back in the blog to make sure i hadn't already shared these things last time i was tagged. i discovered something neat: it was almost a year ago, and i shared that wanted to find a fire in me..."i am on a search these days for my inner fire. what makes me shine? where do i shine the brightest?? i love thinking about this lately....." that is neat. given that this fire just found me, one year later. will i tend it properly? not sure. but i'm really giving it my best. so, a random fact that ties to all this, is i used to have crazy bad stomach aches for a few years, almost daily when i was in my early twenties. i had to learn a lot to get my stomach to feel safe enough to relax. a lot of bodywork got me to that place of living pain free. and i learned that my belly is really just a firey part of me, demanding creative freedom, and that i use my voice.
4. i can swim, but i'm not very good at it. ha. speaking of fire. water. i would like to learn how to do laps in a pool without looking like i am simply trying to keep myself alive. i can swim underwater really well, but all those strokes and the coordination involved, i've never gotten it down. i want to.
5. my grandma walked me down the aisle in our wedding. i sewed my dress. david played the accordion while his groomsmen and one lady friend sang, as my grandma and i walked down the rocky path to where david stood with that accordion.i loved my dad, and he loved me, and he understood why i wanted his mom to walk me down the aisle to be married. he was very supportive. he loved david. loved him a LOT.
6. wow. this is getting fun. if i were to choose a profession for my kids, i'd have them all be veterinarians! yep. right now they say they want to learn to work in the bakery, and not go to college. as a kid, i always thought i wanted to be a doctor. and have 4 kids. hmmmm. housewife with 3. sort-of close. i doctor them with my wise woman ways. that's actually kind-of close i feel.
7. ok. last, but so not least. what will this one be? i got my first guitar when i was 20. (side note on this guitar: it was once stolen by a theif from our house. i had the serial number and the police tracked it down at a pawn shop and i got it back!) my mom gave it to me for my birthday, cuz i asked for one. i had never played one before. but i listened to ani difranco so much, that i guess that's where the desire came from. i shaved my hair off and went to san francisco with my boyfriend at the time and got my nose pierced there. i took a couple lessons. then i took myself, my guitar, and my tent to new zealand, all alone, i wanted to be alone. with the guitar. i loved it. i had so much passion. i wrote these sweet little folky songs. the only one i remember any part of, said , 'old light guide me, new light find me'. i made this friend there in nz and we traveled around together, and i sang it to her and she would have me sing it over and over to her. she loved it. i hope to find that kind of passion again. i really really do. the kind that makes me often have something to say musically. i never really played regularly again after that trip, for about 10 years. then i started taking lessons again for about a year, 2 years ago, and i was pleased with myself and having fun. but the wrist cyst thing happened, and i had to stop cuz of pain. now i am attempting to wake up the girl in me who once had that musical fire burning so brightly and freely, and wildly in me. wildfire in the belly. that's it. trying to let it out.

ok. so that wasn't really shocking was it? i was just kidding on that part.

love. that was therapeutic as always, bloggy~dear. thanks dear light and macaroni. love you. thanks my terrallectualism friend. i love you!!

i pick erin (again, i know mary did too, but just to make it more enticing for you erin) grace kyndale erin sarah miri mindy kate tania and julie

no pressure of course. i know some people don't like to do stuff like this. but if you do, friend, go on!!!!

okay. and here is where i make some homemade yorgit for the first time in my life. i followed the directions in wild fermentation.

and i want to show off these hot water bottle covers that i made, again. they are so cool. just the end of sleeves off the biggest cotton shirt i could find at the thrift.

i used yogurt from the farm as my starter.

and added some extra friendly bacteria to make it a super yorgit.

and there it sat for 8 hours in the cooler, i mean warmer, with hot water bottles all around it in there, and the warm fire. and olive is playing with the guitar tuner. it tasted so sour when i tried it last night. woohoo.

okay. and lastly i want to say that i love you all who have become friends through this blog, for not running away in fear from how freely i share my ride with depression. i am feeling like i may back off from sharing on it so much soon. i just feel it may be nearing its end, the sharing part of it. i am actually getting bored of talking about it. today anyways. ha.