light and macaroni: red and randomness

Friday, October 23, 2009

red and randomness

while her brother and sister ride. she visits.

our new homemade pillow. it satisfied some owl cravings i was having. along with some corduroy cravings, and some red on the corners of course.

once again, it's dinner time. which means garlic, and this night, a little tequila. a girl's gotta get warmed up.

the song figure-outerer. it would take me a hundred years. and if i had that kind of time, fine. but i don't. so it's pretty dang nice to have him around. (and for other reasons too, of course.) we've been making a pretty good team lately. i'm scared to say that, cuz i do seem to jinx myself. but i don't believe in jinxing anymore. so i'm going for it. we're getting along!!!! can you believe it? is it possible to have peace in the marriage? oh man, i am really asking for a jinx, big time. come on you jinxy jerk. try to take me down! I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU! i am allowed to say something is going well. it's okay. i know it is. (and i know the therapy doesn't hurt, too.)

but i will let you all know what happens here with this little experiment. i'm not scared. i'm not scared. i'm not scared. nope. focusing on my breathing. gonna pretend this never happened. tiptoeing away.....

moving on, i whisper.

she was sick. first he was. then she was. one night after the other. i've never washed so many sheets and towels in the middle of the night before. they're better now. the middle child seems to be warding it off (while she plays pick-up-sticks). as do the mom and dad. so far. and no, that is not gonna be jinxed either. especially because i said 'so far'. my mother-in-law taught me about the 'so far' trick.

here i am. late at night. with the red blanket. everyone asleep except me and the cats. hehe. the chocolate coursing through my veins is making me feel like i might need to jump and spin around. mmmmmm. going to go prowl around the house now and pretend i'm an owl-cat-woman........

2 comments:

Magnolia HandspunOctober 24, 2009 at 7:52 AM
Her expression is so sweet... and guitar music in the house, must be so nice.
Hope your fam will feel better soon!
-and yes, play along...and sneak in some red.
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SaraOctober 24, 2009 at 9:12 PM
You are funny! I hope your littles are better...and that the big people in the house didn't catch it! I'd carry that red blanket around too If I had it....and that old couch.....I LOVE it!
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macaroni

dad says when you close your eyes you can feel your soul. ~olive eulala cohen /// "I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living." — Anaïs Nin /// Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. khalil gibran in the prophet /// nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent ~ carl gustav jung /// olive says: when i grow up i'm not gonna be patient. mom says: what are you gonna be? olive says: just a girl with a cape. December 2010 /// (he says) are you sure you're not a witch, sophie? (she says) oh yes, i'm the worst kind of witch. the kind that cleans. ~from howl's moving castle /// "as mama bear lay there, she thought about how cubs learn. cubs learn by doing. they learn to walk by walking. they learn to run by running. they learn to climb by climbing. that's the answer, thought mama. the cubs will learn to help others by helping others. but questions of who, when, and where went unanswered as she drifted off to sleep." ~ from the berenstain bears lend a helping hand by stan and jan berenstain /// "i say, be proud of your scars. the good news is that for the most part that (shock/trauma) can be sutured and healed. and when i say for the most part, as you well know, you cannot heal the things you will not feel. and feeling what all the wounds are is very important. and you know that those things do leave scars. so it's never going to look like you never suffered. although i say be proud of your scars. it has everything to do with your strength and what you've endured. it's a map so to speak. a treasure map, in many ways, to the self. the deep self." clarissa pinkola estes from warming the stone child /// "in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness—or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity." carl gustav jung /// 'i'm not done dancing.' ~olive in response to me telling her it was time to get ready to go. thankfully we had enough time for her to keep dancing until she felt done, may 2010 /// 'mom, music tastes good. mmm, daddy's tastes good.' ~ olive 4/13/10 as she dances in her seat at the dinner table, while d plays on the piano /// 'she picked up her broom. she never felt quite herself without it.' jhumpa lahiri from interpreter of maladies (i am listening to this on the ipod when hiking lately. the writing is like watery love. sometimes i don't even follow the story, i just listen to the way she puts the words together. it is so inspiring.) /// ring the bells that still can ring forget your perfect offering there is a crack, a crack in everything that's how the light gets in ~leonard cohen, Anthem /// i won't ever let you down. you're a person after all. and a person is a person, no matter how small. ~horton (dr. seuss) /// I am high above the tree line Sitting cross legged on the ground When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted That's when I'm gonna come down ani difranco, studying stones /// Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio She a-runnin’ around with her rag-top down She says I wanna do right , but not right now Oh I wanna do right but not right now gillian welch, look at miss ohio /// "Every time, it's a miracle. Here are all these people, full of heartache or hatred or desire, and we all have our troubles and the school year is filled with vulgarity and triviality and consequence, and there are all these teachers and kids of every shape and size, and there's this life we're struggling through full of shouting and tears and laughter and fights and break-ups and dashed hopes and unexpected luck--it all disappears, just ike that, when the choir begins to sing. Everyday life vanishes into song, you are suddenly overcome with a feeling of brotherhood, of deep solidarity, even love and it diffuses the ugliness of everyday life into a spirit of perfect communion. Even the singers' faces are transformed... I see human beings, surrendering to music." "In the end, I wonder if the true movement of the world might not be a voice raised in song." muriel barbery, the elegance of the hedgehog /// Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to. Don’t try to see through the distances. That’s not for human beings. Move within, but don’t move the way fear makes you move. Rumi /// “hold the sadness and pain of samsara in your heart and at the same time the power and vision of the great eastern sun. then the warrior can make a proper cup of tea.” pema chodron quoting chogyam trungpa rinpoche /// Elizabeth Strout from her novel 'Olive Kitteridge': "she leaned forward, peering out the window : sweet pale clouds, the sky as blue as your hat, the new green of the fields, the broad expanse of water- seen from up here it all appeared wondrous, amazing. she remembered what hope was, and this was it. That inner churning that moves you forward, plows you through life the way the boats below plowed the shiny water, the way the plane was plowing forward to a place new, and where she was needed. she had been asked to be part of her son's life." p 202-203 /// Oscar Wilde: “One does not see anything until one sees it’s beauty. Then, and only then does it come into existence.” /// But don't confuse acceptance with defeat. You can be accepting and still desire change. And change happens *easily* when you're at peace with What Is. ~Scott Noelle, daily groove /// "“I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it--and that's all I got.”" — Sabrina Ward Harrison (Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself) /// no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor roosevelt /// courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear. ~mark twain /// this curious world which we inhabit is more wonderful than it is convenient; more beautiful than it is useful; it is more to be admired and enjoyed than used. ~henry David thoreau ///