Friday, February 27, 2009

we are all birds, but not all the same kind...some are odd, some are not





  1. we have had a tumultuous relationship with some other bird friends.
  2. how it all happened is clear to me and yet still confuses me.
  3. i picked this sage in the third photo with another bird.  i knew we had some clearing to do, and i tried so many times in so many ways to bring everything out in the open, and things still were not clear enough for us all to relax.
  4. i am a strange bird, and i do know it is not necessarily easy for all birds to be my friend, so i do take some responsibility for the difficult time we all had......but i also know there are other strange birds around here do know how to hang with me, so i am not beating myself up for being me, but acknowledging that we can't always play with every other creature and find harmony.  it just seems to be a part of nature.
  5. i wish we could all play together.  i wish it was possible.
  6. i saw a crow chasing a hawk recently....it looked like they were having fun.  
  7. i feel like it's not up to me if we are able to heal all of our hurts.  

Monday, February 23, 2009

more respect

we had a skunk visit last night at 2 am.  i am in awe of the skunk medicine today, as i reflect on my current lessons.  our cat was sprayed and he is not in awe quite like i am, but i have a feeling he learned how powerful the skunk is, and i bet he will respect them in the future.

Friday, February 20, 2009

respek




self respect.  the anecdote to ego-inflation.  i love this little bit of information so much.  lately i've found myself getting slammed, hard, down to the ground whenever my pride runs the show.  and i've been wondering and wondering how to find the balance between feeling confident and humble;  proud of myself without stepping into big-head ego bubble.  yesterday i got some very helpful information.  self respect pulls me right back into my body, slows me down a little bit, and calms me.  it is the cure.  can u feel how this works?  or does it only make sense to me?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

wait a minute


how do you hunt properly when you are so tired?  it's maddening.  i was just reading the book, and a wizard graciously placed a spell on a kind man's house in return for a favor the man had done him, a spell to protect the house from fire, wind, and madness.  madness.  we need this spell.  i mean for the fire and wind too, but these days, the madness has found a crack to sneak in through.  tired and mad.  

on another note,  today at breakfast olive farted, looked at me, and said 'thanks'.  i love her for that.  i hope she does that forever.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

inspiration



is gold.  gold is precious and rare and expensive.  damn that!  why can't the experience of being immersed in spirit be abundantly free and readily available????  i'm sure it is, you just have to have some serious skills to be able to tap it like that, to be able to pierce the veil of ego every other minute of the day.  or more sometimes, but pretty much, that's all you have to do!!  i figured it out.  i'm in the spirit....i'm in the spirit......i'm in the spirit......for this moment,  for this lovely moment.  ego, i am going to start hunting you out. i am totally inspired by the wizard of earthsea  lesson i am learning.  you have to be the hunter of what haunts you.  you can either be the hunter or the hunted.  you choose.  i am hunter.  hunter heather.  i am hunter of ego-laden thoughts.  i find them and eat them alive, and they taste so good.  better than spruce's blackbottom cupcakes.  crazy!  who would've ever guessed.  i am a hunter now.  i need so many tattoos.  i will never remember this otherwise.  dang it.  maybe i will paint it on the living room wall somehow.  hmmmmm.....

Monday, February 9, 2009

whatever



red.  practice. procrastinate.  feel angry.  watch cool people on you tube.  feel jealous, and inspired.  pretend.  wish dream pretend fantasize delude imagine pretend pretend pretend.  discipline.  no discipline.  forget everything.  forge ahead.  no control.  never gain it back and you're better off.  you're better off out of control. out of control.  pretend.  you are happy.  you are pissed.  you are raging out of control.  red.  red.  not blue.  red.  and black.  scary shiny black.  bird.  flying.